*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*
*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*
*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*
*becomes the evil wizard because the local strong knight is cute and I want to get beaten by them.*
*dumps my evil chemicals in the well behind some random dude’s house*