my three girlfriends. and yes, they smoke weed

*sticks my hand in your nucleus and swirls your dna around*

PULL THE TRIGGER PIGLET

you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

OMG MY NEW SHOES CAME :3 ignore my ugly house arrest ankle bracelet. haha

detective: [kneels down looking over a dead body] hm. gross

bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

hi margaret, i hope this email blows your tits clean off

his wife has filled his house w chintz. to keep it real i fuck him on the floor

Shelob got that dump truck and a gorilla grip spussy (…) i said what i said