naamahdarling:

whydidisavethistomyphone:

whydidisavethistomyphone:

I love to read the notes on this post, you guys are amazing!

This is satire worth of the onion

I have friends who have dogs, and I have never kicked one of their dogs even once or told them that their dogs are pieces of shit. They don’t know I hate their dogs! Because I have never personally hurt THEIR dogs or THEIR feelings, and they don’t know how I feel, and therefore nobody in my life will hold me accountable, I think I have earned pushing the button to harm a dog neither I nor my dog fan friends have ever met. Because I really like fart sounds and there are TONS of dogs.

or

There’s so many people pushing the button right now, one more dog really doesn’t make a difference. The inventor of the button surely won’t feel validated by a number that is one higher.

or

I don’t know why dogs think they are people. But I don’t support anti-dog legislation. I would never. They should have the same rights as people. I just don’t see how allowing people to optionally press this fart sound button is the equivalent of saying they should have no legal rights. Me enjoying this fart sound isn’t making other dogs’ lives harder. You know. Legally. I’m not taking their rights away. Just trying to enjoy myself in a capitalist hellscape where there is no ethical button-pushing.

or

Dogs are predators and I heard some dogs dress like people and wait in bathrooms to bite real people and until dogs fix that we should be allowed to push the fart button as much as we want. I’m not going to care about how many dogs get zapped until they fix the much larger problem of letting dogs in bathrooms.

or

I want to know what the fart noise sounds like so I can describe it to people who don’t want to press the button. It’s a price I’m willing to make the dog pay so I can have a firsthand perspective.

or, actually

It’s a fart button?! That’s a spoiler, and that is way worse than shocking the dog!