meggannn:

having to pay for sebastian, the only straight companion in da2, is still funny on its own but I feel there’s also metatextual humor if we take the “varric is narrating this whole thing” to another level

like it’s no secret varric cannot stand this guy so the thought of cassandra piping up like “wait, wasn’t the champion also friends with the prince of starkhaven? you haven’t mentioned him at all”

and varric rolls his eyes so far back into his head he almost gives himself a migraine, then she insists “no, he is! I know I heard this, stop lying to me dwarf!”

he’s like “andraste’s nutsack, fine, but if you wanna hear about him I’m gonna need some financial incentive to jog my memory. he was so boring I often forget he was even there”

“you can’t be serious, are you saying you’ve completely forgotten everything about him?”

“seven sovereigns for the choir boy, seeker, take it or leave it”