slitherpunk

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

maxknightley

cheeseanonioncrisps

Secret Gospel of Judas where the Romans try to grab Jesus, but he's so oily that when they get their hands on him he slips out immediately and shoots upward, like when you grab soap too tight in the bath, and that's how he actually ascended to Heaven.