You should actually do that on kickstarter. I mean, if someone can get 17000 to make potato salad, you can do a bunch more.

No, no, no. Are you kidding? That’s insane! I mean, I can crack a couple jokes, but not nearly enough to fill a whole fucking book.

… Then again, a Hitchhiker’s Guide setup might work. Just have a story that’s regularly interrupted by excerpts from the book…

No! No I couldn’t do that! I’d have to write a story! And tons of jokes! I’m not a writer! No! No way this is happening. No way this’d be funded. No way anyone would buy it. It’s impossible.

Also, I couldn’t write or publish a book without remaining anonymous or using a pseudonym. And people always find out who’s behind a pseudonym. It’s a no-go.

Not happening.