hakunermatataLittle Shop of Horrors: An alien plant arrives on 1960s Earth, convinces a man of feeding her a dentist, eats him and goes on a rampage for world domination.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: A pansexual alien transvestite builds a living sex toy, kills an undead delivery boy and is murdered by one of his servants after promoting a cabaret Floor Show on the basement of his spaceship-castle.
Sweeney Todd: A barber and a piemaker are partners in crime. He’s a serial killer and she bakes meat pies filled with the flesh from his victims.
Les Miserables: A man can’t find a decent job for being an ex-convict, breaks his parole and is stalked for the rest of his life by a police inspector.
Wicked: Wizard of Oz fanfic that turns out to be better than the original material.Don’t forget:
West Side Story: Romeo and Juliet but with greasers
The Lion King: Hamlet but with lions
Chicago: Woman avoids murder charge and becomes a famous jazz singer by pretending to be pregnant and smiling a lot
The Frogs: God of booze tries to resurrect a playwright in order to save the world from…frogs????
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: The Bible feat. Elvis
The Book of Mormon: The Bible feat. Homosexuality
Rent: The Gays’ rent is too damn high
Mama Mia: Dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17, sings Abba
Heathers: popularity = not what it’s cracked up to be. the bae = a serial killer. murder = date night.
Into the Woods: “oh this looks like a fun lighthearted fairytale romp for me and my kids!” BITCH YOU THOUGHT
Legally Blonde: fuck you, sexism: the musical, feat. a shitload of pink.
Zombie Prom: …Think Grease meets Shaun of the Dead.
Dogfight: a fuckboy must learn to redeem himself before going to war
Fun Home: Family + gay + emotional abuse + gender roles + cartoons = this
A Very Potter Musical/Sequel/Senior Year: a Harry Potter satire that manages to be a more accurate adaptation than all the actual Harry Potter movies.
Twisted: Jafar from Aladdin gets the “Wicked” treatment
Me and My Dick: your penis has feelings, too
Starship: The Little Mermaid, except in space, with bugs, filtered through Alien
Holy Musical B@tman: Batman vs. Superman will never top this
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee: spelling bees are serious fucking business. also you will pity EVERYONE.
Carousel: Even domestic abusers go to Heaven
Oklahoma!: Shit goes down over who gets to buy a picnic lunch
Phantom of the Opera: Creepy unattractive composer writes show for the woman he loves, which incidentally is also the plot of the musical
Avenue Q: Sesame Street for jaded twenty-somethings
Hamilton: Colorblind hip-hop American history lesson
Matilda: Outcast telekenetic girl gets revenge
Carrie: See above
Victor/Victora: A woman pretends to be a man pretending to be a woman and a straight man pretends to be gay so he can be with the woman-man-woman.
Guys and Dolls: Man takes woman out on a bet, somehow it ends well
Ok but why are musicals so fucking weird
