pansexualkiba:

• “You AGAIN?! What do I have to do, get a restraining order?!”
  
• “You sayin’ this guy’s a cop?!” “Worse. He’s a reporter.”
  
• “I’m getting schnitzel’d left and right. I cannot even sell the bunion cream!”
  
• “I wanna do an expose. Maybe a coffeebook – I don’t drink coffee, maybe a chai tea latte book.”
  
• “The only crime I’ve ever committed is making my goodies unlawfully delicious!”
  
• “I noticed you have three G’s tattooed onto the back of your neck. That’s appropriate, since there are three strikes against you.”
  
• “THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS AGOOOOOO A WITCH DONE PUT A SPELL ON MEEEEEE”
  
• “I just wanna go home and hibernate.”
  
• “It’s true. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I’d rather live life to the extreme.”
  
• “Grandma, what’s this?” “Oh! I-It says ‘World’s Greatest Grandma’!” “Grandma, I can read. It says, ‘Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators’.”
  
• “Sweet tea and biscuits! We gotta do something!” “I know. The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.”
  
• “No. Not prison! NOT FOR A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!“