Silver Tongue
modofpitchpatch:
“Shaded and coloured commission for silver-tongues-blog
”
my beautiful bastard!

modofpitchpatch:

Shaded and coloured commission for silver-tongues-blog

my beautiful bastard!

yourplayersaidwhat:

Lawful good cleric with 800gp: Hey i notice that dress in the window. I was wondering how much it is

700+ elderly elf seamstress: Ah yes. That is a very nice one. Im very proud of it. If youre interested in it, it will be about 3 silver

Cleric: did you say silver?

Seamstress: yes. 3 silver. Im sorry the price is so much but things have been very difficult lately. But i have faith that things will turn up

Cleric: are you sure you really wanna sell it for 3 silver? I mean…

Seamstress: I know, im sorry. i wish i could sell it for less but its been hard enough to keep up with bills

Cleric: I mean… if you could find it in your heart to part with it for 2 silver for little ol’ me?

Entire party: Starts to shame the cleric for scamming this elderly woman with a struggling business out of 1 silver. Cleric didnt even have any silver pieces

Posted episode 5 of my homebrew campaign; World of Tapir

Go check it out! was fun shenanigans. 

One of my players commissioned me to draw the party in the DND group i run! in order of left to right we have

  • Lorkax the dwarf wizard
  • Sushi the skaven fighter
  • Vaerin the half elf bard
  • Murovik the minotaur paladin
  • Laveer the kobold rogue
  • Corvus the kenku cleric

yourplayersaidwhat:

Gnome tosses rotten necromancer head to NPC

NPC: What the FUCK!?

Gnome: Jobs done. wheres our payment

NPC: I just asked you to look into if he was behind the kidnappings, not to kill him!

Gnome: well one way or the other, the kidnappings wont happen anymore

yourplayersaidwhat:

Bard:  I could go up to him before the round begins and tell him hes my father

DM: what, youre gonna whisper “daddy” in his ear? that will go over well

Rogue: now thats what I call a dissonant whisper

Nobody told me there would be math!
the rogue (via yourplayersaidwhat)

yourplayersaidwhat:

“We don’t have a healer!”

— The fucking bard

yourplayersaidwhat:

(Context: Players got shipwrecked on an island with a mansion and a large tower in the fantasy bremuda triangle while searching for an NPC named stephan they traveled with until he got kidnapped as well as a relic of power.)

Me setting the scene:You pull the rope and the doorbell chimes (hums classic doorbell tune) and after a while you hear the pitter patter of someone frantically running. its getting louder and it stops just behind the door and you hear someone taking deep breaths.

NPC behind door breathing heavily: Hold on a moment. Oof. I just need to catch… My breath… WHEW. (whispers) This place is way too big

Me: As the door opens, you hear him say

NPC: Sorry, Its not every day I get visitors

Me: and standing before you is Stephan

Monk OOC: WHAT!?

Me: And I think thats where we’ll leave the session

 Monk OOC: NO! WHAT NO! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM I’LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IF THIS IS WHERE WE END