hazel2468:

Anti-Polyam attitudes that center around “It’s just cheating, but the other person knows about it” SO clearly come from people who have no understanding of why cheating is bad.

Cheating isn’t bad because you had sex with someone else. Cheating is bad because you violated the terms of your relationship. Cheating is bad because you violated your partner’s trust. That’s why things other than sex can be cheating- it’s why there’s emotional cheating.

Cheating is bad because it is violating your partner’s trust. It is bad because you and your partner(s) decided on something, trusted one another, and you said “fuck them and their trust”. THAT is why it is bad.

Polyamory is not cheating. In polyamory, everyone knows about everything and everyone. Everyone consents. There is communication. If not everyone is aware and consents, then it’s fucking cheating. There’s a damn difference.

There’s also the “Polyamory is bad because you’re having sex with someone who isn’t your one true love” which… I could go on all day about how fucking stupid that is, but same principle.

In honor of Pride month- stop shitting on polyamory and polyam people. And stop telling us that we’re all cheaters, because if you say that, you’re coming from a place of totally misunderstanding why cheating is bad. And, spoilers, cheating isn’t bad because of the sex.